No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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