I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
