break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
this boner is exhausting
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
