Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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