Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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