Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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