***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
