forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
