So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
