this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
