well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
