I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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