I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
