Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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