Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
