Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Randomize
