Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
