i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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