Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
