In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
