he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
