lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
