I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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