all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
