Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
