He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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