Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
