It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My pussy is not your playground.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
