Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
