Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
