Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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