some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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