I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
