Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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