its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
