im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
