maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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