ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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