Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
