Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
