I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
