butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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