just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
