weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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