So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
