Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
