what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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