K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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