Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
