Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
