If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
